Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of
pop, John Elton. Respect.
Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali.
Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a
batty boy cause I erd dat you woz once married -
although I also erd dat da missus was mingin?
Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been
gay then probably deep down I was but maybe fought it
because in my younger days especially it was not
socially acceptable to be gay.
Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy
did you fink about people like James Dean and that
Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you wouldn't
end up wiv a floppy or woz you trisexual and
didn't care where you was stickin' Mr
biggy?
Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince
myself I wasn't gay so I never had a problem
maintaining an erection with women. I now know I am
homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused
with a woman now.
Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr
biggy wasn't coming out to play last Saturday
night although ma Julie says it woz coz I drank a
bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink
it woz coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in
fact she's a dog. Elton John: I think you're
Julie was right - it takes one to know one.
Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy?
Nah, the bitch won't take it up the exit hole,
I've tried slipping it in a few times.
Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex but
she's not too nice for a threesome wiv me mate
Dave - it woz wicked!
Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on anal
sex just as I know some gay men who are not keen on it
either. Just because you're gay doesn't mean
that you have to like it - there are other ways to
express yourself sexually with another man.
Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic.
Elton John: Gaelic?
Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each
other.
Elton John: Sure, oral sex is one way of pleasing a
lover but sensual massage can be very enjoyable for
example.
Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need
to lose you're orange juice or what is da point?
Anyways enough talk about homosapiens - I hear dat you
spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat
because you is a feminist?
Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes
but I wouldn't describe myself as a feminist.
Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were
feminists?
Elton John: Eh?
Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty
comedian Ben Elton cause I fink he is rank.
Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton
John and not John Elton.
Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey
named you?
Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my
stage name. Many performers change their names to try
to sound more appealing to the public. Take Gary
Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd -
can you imagine the same guy selling so many records
as Paul Gadd or me as Reg Dwight.